Addiction and Addiction Recovery
I once heard someone in a 12 Step meeting say “I drank because I didn’t know how to ask for the things I wanted”. This may seem an over simplification but there is a lot of insight in this statement. Addiction is certainly biological and phrases like “addiction is a disease” are correct. There is fascinating research on Epigenetics and how environments can unlock the seeds of addiction planted in previous generations. There is however more to this story. Because we are more than a collection of synapses, we do not have to be pre-destined to the trauma so often inflicted by addiction. Prevention and recovery are possible when we build lives full of connection and meaning.
Quick question; how many times is the word alcohol used in AA’s 12 Steps…? Perhaps surprisingly it is referenced only once. Addiction recovery is not about substance use, it’s about the way we relate to ourselves. When our relationship with ourself is in tact the reprieve of escape isn’t needed. When our relationships with others are in tact we have plenty access to joy. The challenge of addiction is that the mechanisms which compelled us to isolate, to be guarded, to wall off our hearts exist to protect us. And the protective instinct is deeply rooted in all of us.
Recovering from addiction can feel like abandoning the most intimate part of ourselves. The space where we lick our wounds, where we rebuild. The walled off and invulnerable shell where we try to forget self-doubt, anger, and fear; abandoned.
Forgive my hyperbole but in ten years I have not once met someone working through addiction who did not have emotional wounds; their scars manifested as self-doubt, volatility, disconnection, and isolation. The person who has a happy life but just drank one to many drinks or just experimented with the wrong substance and became addicted does not exist.
Supports like Therapy, Smart Recovery, the Twelve Steps and so many others are all endeavors to help navigate the difficulty of letting go. This letting go is profound and an amazing achievement but it is not enough. Those in recovery must also cultivate the skill sets of creating connection. Balancing all this at once is difficult but the journey is worth every step.
If you are considering getting help for addiction, I encourage you to just start. Don’t worry about this method or that method. Go to a meeting, call a therapist, join an online support group, just get started.
If you are a family member of someone struggling with addiction know that you also bare scars. Your feelings matter. You also deserve support.
For any questions about addiction recovery, individual or family therapy, give us a call or shoot us an email.
East Peoria Counseling LLC
331-871-0280
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